What Your Mom Never Told You About Pregnancy, Maternity Leave & Balancing a Career
Have you ever wondered how to balance a thriving career in medical device sales while navigating the challenges of pregnancy and maternity leave?
In this episode, we dive deep into the real, raw, and rewarding journey of being a career-driven woman balancing life-changing events. From addressing guilt and stress to practical strategies for navigating maternity leave, join us as we share personal stories, actionable advice, and powerful insights to help you thrive in both your personal and professional life.
Episode Chapter Markers
00:00 - Welcome and Introduction to the Episode
02:41 - The Challenges of Being Pregnant in a Career-Driven World
09:11 - Letting Go of the Guilt and Embracing the Journey
10:41 - Navigating Each Trimester as a High Performer
20:41 - Tips for Preparing for Maternity Leave
26:11 - The Fourth Trimester: Recovery, Bonding, and Returning to Work
32:11 - Embracing Motherhood and Career Success
Must-Hear Insights and Key Moments
Acknowledging the Challenges of Motherhood in a Career-Driven World: A candid discussion on the fears, guilt, and stress women experience when balancing motherhood and a high-performing career.
Let Go of the Guilt: A heartfelt message about shedding the guilt and embracing the miracle of life while maintaining your career.
Trimester-by-Trimester Guide: Insightful advice on navigating each stage of pregnancy while excelling at your job.
The Fourth Trimester: Practical tips on disconnecting, recovering, and bonding with your baby during maternity leave.
Returning to Work with Confidence: Strategies for easing back into your career while embracing your new identity as a mother and career woman.
Words of Wisdom: Standout Quotes from This Episode
From Cynthia Ficara:
"Being a mother gives you the strength and determination to do what needs to be done—it flows into your career too."
"When you know your strengths, you can build a castle and not let negativity in."
"Motherhood taught me to be a better career woman by making me a multi-accomplisher."
"Your body dictates what you do during maternity leave. Listen to it and give yourself grace."
"Take the time to plan your return and set boundaries—grace will guide you back to success."
From Anneliese Rhodes:
"You’re creating life inside of you. That’s a miracle—embrace it and lose the guilt."
"Pregnancy is a superpower—use your second trimester to achieve your SMART goals."
"There’s no script for being a mother and career woman, but you’ll figure it out."
"Pregnancy doesn’t derail your career; it redefines it in the most incredible way."
Follow The Girls of Grit:
We'd Love to Hear Your Stories!
Your experiences are important to us. Share how you've navigated catalysts for growth and personal transformation. Connect with us on social media or leave a review on your preferred podcast platform. Your feedback and stories inspire us and guide future episodes!
A Team Dklutr production
Blog Transcript:
Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies
Anneliese Rhodes: Welcome everyone to another episode of secrets and medical device sales. We are so happy that you guys continue to join in. And again, just a happy new year, 2025. It's a great. Hello. Hello. Happy new year. So today's episode, you guys is actually based on a couple of people writing into us to ask us to talk about a really specific topic. And Cindy and I have both experienced this. Multiple times, . And we just first of all, want y'all to know that you are not alone.
Cynthia Ficara: I think that is something that requires being said. Again, you are not alone. being a high performing career woman, it is a lot. when you balance your life, your family, your career, it means a lot. We work very, very hard. To be able to do what we do. We have said this many times in medical device sales, it's a privilege. And I think every, woman that gets to this point feels that yet in life, this is what happens. Life happens, you know, and we all have events where sometimes we feel challenged in today's event that we're talking about is truly balancing a life changing event that we are here to support all of you not to be alone,
Anneliese Rhodes: Yeah,
Cynthia Ficara: and it's exciting. A very exciting event as well.
You Are Not Alone
Anneliese Rhodes: Yeah. And you know, you want, you said this really well, Cindy, when you and I were talking about this on the phone the other day. Is it's a real event. I mean, this happens in most women's lives. And, so what are we talking about? We're talking about getting pregnant and being pregnant during your job.
And especially in a career driven male dominated industry, it becomes really hard. And then the maternity leave as well. And. I've had two babies, you've had two babies. There, it's a lot that we go through as women, not just physically, but mentally. And so I think today we're going to talk about this with you guys.
First of all, again, to let you know you're not alone and nobody does it perfect by the way. And what we tell you doesn't necessarily mean that you have to do this or it's going to be awful because you'll figure it out. We promise you, you'll figure it out. And my first pregnancy was different than my second pregnancy.
And so was my job. So anyhow, I'm just really excited to talk about this today, Cindy, because I wish that I had this when I was younger, I wish I could tune into a podcast with a bunch of older women going, you got this. You're not alone.
Cynthia Ficara: And there is no script. There is no right way of doing anything. Everybody's experience is going to be different, but having that camaraderie of knowing that I can get through this, having a baby is a life changing event for so many amazing, wonderful reasons. But the reality is you're going to have moments where you're scared. You're going to have moments of stress.
You're going to have moments of feeling the pressure of the world on you. And so, you know what, it's okay. You know, we, have the space here to kind of talk through and we hope that some of the something today you can take with you. And honestly, if you're a man listening to this, I just. I just want you to just maybe take away some time, whether it's now or in the future, if you work with a female coworker who will become pregnant, that these are some of the things that they think about. So supporting women having babies and keeping your career going is really great message for today. We can do it.
Anneliese Rhodes: Absolutely. So, I think I'll just talk about my experiences really quickly. Just overarching. So my first child I had 17 years ago as a boy and I was in a much different place than I am today. Obviously I was a lot younger. I was 30. and I was in a place where I had been trying to get pregnant for a while. So it took me four years of getting pregnant. I did do fertility drugs and I was able to finally get pregnant. And so I remember first of all, the thrill of just knowing that I was pregnant.
And then, immediately, I freaked out. Oh my gosh, how am I going to do this? What is my company going to think? Are they going to think that I'm not going to work? Are they going to think, you know, oh, we got to get her a replacement? I mean, all of these fears are normal, number one. And number two, I'm pretty sure everybody feels like that.
And if you don't, congrats to you. And I think, you know, my whole pregnancy, I was a lot younger, a lot, just not knowing what to expect. So, that was a really tough time for me. And right before I delivered my son, my company was bought by another company. And so that was really stressful because I didn't even, had a whole new health plan.
Like literally I had to have my husband at the time, go home, print off an agreement for the new company and get coverage to have my baby that I was already in the hospital for. Oh yeah. Oh my gosh. That's stress. I never knew that. That's right. Oh, wow. And by the way, thinking I was going into have a normal labor.
And then of course I had a C section. Um, kind of like an emergency section. So, and talk about the stress, right? as my first child and then my second child, I had six years later and she's amazing and beautiful. And. But I was in the aortic world at that time, so talk about stress. And just like, not that my first job wasn't stressful, but not near the amount of stress that I carried with aortic.
And so, I remember somebody telling me real quickly, and you guys take this to heart, is, Don't ever carry your stress with you, try not to carry stress with you, when you're pregnant because your baby feels it. And so I was constantly thinking about that, and I'm like, Oh, my poor baby, I'm gonna make her a stress ball when she's born, and, all these things.
But then I did so many things better the second time, and we'll talk about that. But that was kind of
Cynthia Ficara: my experience with my two kids. it's crazy when you think back and you know, something that just dawned on me is Lisa, do you remember like every little bit about that now? Like all these years later?
Oh my gosh.
Anneliese Rhodes: Yes.
Cynthia Ficara: It's a time in your life that the little things you're doing, it's you're like elephant brain. You're never going to forget these moments. They are clear as day. Yes. And I mean, my Children are older too. They're 25 and 22. And I clearly remember mine was a little different. And I think all of you know, I was a nurse first and then a nurse practitioner for my first two babies and I a lot. It's so funny thinking back about when I first got pregnant and you're working now as a nurse, you know, somebody is going to Take your place. But I also know that that my maternity leave was like 60 percent pay the scary thought of what if I don't have a job when I come back that all those things bid, and then, when my 2nd pregnancy, I was on bed rest for 5 weeks and my daughter.
Anneliese Rhodes: Oh, my gosh. That is stressful. Do you know I actually was like praying to God I would never be put on bed rest because I didn't know what would happen to me if I was put on bed rest.
Cynthia Ficara: I was laying there and I had a two and a half year old. I couldn't pick her up. I had to lay down. She'd climb on me sideways.
Oh, Cindy. Five, five weeks of not moving. Then you forget like, It really is like your muscles atrophy. Like, you can't Holy crap! I swear to God, if we aren't superpowers, superwomen, we Damn it, we are. You do anything, and this But to that point, like, when it's your baby, it's amazing. Like, if you and I tell these stories Oh, I could never sit there for five weeks if somebody made me.
No, but when it's your baby, Become this. A mom gives you this strength, this type of determination that you just do what needs to be done. Yeah. And that can flow into your career too. Like sometimes you just do what needs to be done. But then my daughter was also born five weeks early. Oh my gosh, she was fine.
I didn't know that. Or maybe you told me and I totally forgot, but that's stressful. so preemie, she was six, eight and 18 and three quarters. So can you imagine the time she would have been? Dude, you would have had a freaking like elephant coming out. Ooh, that sucks. Wow. I'm not even going to go into that one.
And then, but you know, and I went back really early a couple of weeks later because guilt, that feeling of like, I got to get back to work and they got to know that I want to be here. And that's what's hard. And I, hope that. we can instill a little bit about that today. Yeah. To help you all.
Letting Go of the Guilt
Anneliese Rhodes: Well, you just said something, though, before we reveal the secret and what we're talking about. You just said you felt the guilt of the work, but what about the guilt of the baby? Right? Like you're worried about your baby and the health of your baby and like all the things of being a mom. And guys, you are first time mothers or you're about to be first time mothers, Your whole life is about to change. So amazingly a lot. But it's a lot, right? And all of the things that you thought were important, no longer are important to a certain degree. And so what we're talking about is what Cindy just said, which is guilt. And I think it's career driven women, high performing women. We all carry a certain amount of guilt about different things.
And I'm just going to go ahead and say it, Cindy, the secret for today's episode, for all of you listening out there is just let go of the guilt. Stop the guilt. Just let it go, because here's the deal. If we weren't having babies, none of us would be here, by the way. Number one. And number two, because the men ain't gonna do it.
So, even if they could do it, they can't do it. Let's be real. But, uh, You know. But the truth is, is like, let go of the guilt. You know, you are creating a life inside of you. Just think about that for a second. Such a miracle.
Cynthia Ficara: It's a freaking miracle. It is. And it's so much easier said than done to lose the guilt, but if you do just stop.
I say that easy. Right. But think about the world and what it is. Like, we as humans are built for women to have babies. It just is what it is. Yeah. And you know what? We as women can also be career women. And so we want to kind of talk through this such exciting, amazing time in your life. And pregnancy is broken down into three trimesters.
So we just want to talk a little bit about this episode broken down about three different trimesters and preparing for maternity leave. And then that fourth thing. Trimester, which is the actual leave itself. Yeah. So, all the fun happens, you find out you're pregnant, you're so excited. And now the thing about the first trimester, when Lisa and I discussed this, when you're thinking about a career woman in medical device sales is we're just going to talk a little bit. It's kind of the awareness time.
Anneliese Rhodes: Mm hmm.
Cynthia Ficara: you've got to start thinking of a few things. So some of the key questions to think about are like, okay, how does maternity leave even look in my company? Do I have FMLA? Is it short term disability? so many companies have, Private companies, big companies, distributors, benefits, like some people work without benefits.
Some people work with benefits. and, a lot of answers you can get from HR, a lot of them you can get in a little handbook. You can go on a website, but something else to think about. Is there's 50 states in the United States, and if you're in a different country, this is going to be a different, different world for you.
But in the United States, there's 50 different states and each state has a different federal mandate for maternity. Some have paid paternity leave.
Anneliese Rhodes: Yeah, no, you're exactly right. And you know, as we're sitting here talking about this, I'm talking about remembering moments now, clear as crystal clear.
See, they'll come back. So this was me with my first child. I didn't even know what FMLA was, right? Even after trying for four years, I had no idea what it was. And because a lot of us, by the way, are in sales and we're paid on commission, I chose not to take FMLA, Cindy, and I took vacation. And do you know what that did?
Oh! Not only, it paid me full, right? But it also really shortened my maternity leave. Because I was unwilling, To be a like the smarter person, which I now look back and I'm like, what were you thinking? And I went back to work at five weeks after having five weeks five weeks and I had a c section Yep, I remember driving in the car such a cause story is terrible I was driving in the car to go train on the new products that I had just inherited because my new My company had just been bought we just inherited a massive new bag of products And my son was not taking the bottle Well, he was Gassy.
he's a typical infant, right? Just not doing what he's supposed to do, which is eat and sleep, not cry. So anyhow, don't cry. I leave him with his dad and I get into a car and I drive and the immediate feelings of guilt were just awful. I mean, I started back to work at 2. 5 weeks, like talking on the phone and doing things.
But five and a half weeks later I was gone. So anyhow, long story short, the reason why I'm saying this is really think long and hard about what's. That's important to you guys. And even if in the beginning you decide to do, the holiday or the paid time off where you get commission and your salary.
Also think about FMLA too, because you never know what your child might
Cynthia Ficara: need. For people who may not know, FMLA is the Family Medical Leave Act. And that, it can provide depending on what state you're in, I think it's like up to 12 weeks of maternity leave. And, but then also like, again, I told you I was pregnant when I was a nurse, my maternity leave was PTO, unless you did the FNLI or had less of.
So
Anneliese Rhodes: I mean, it
Cynthia Ficara: really depends. So do your research. Yeah, I don't know where you stand. Figure out what you have thanked, where you need to go. But these are, just kind of a lot of preparation, a lot of awareness. one thing that I will say is we can link this in the show notes because Lisa found this.
I thought this was great. There's actually a website that tells you state. By state about your maternity leave. Yeah. And we'll link it in there. It's www. parents. com with like a long slash backslash blah, blah, blah. I think that's going to be very informative for any of you who do want to know that.
Timing the Announcement
Anneliese Rhodes: All right. So I think another thing that's really important guys around this first trimester is the timing of when you're going to announce to your company that you're pregnant. Now I know it's like this done, done, done. Everybody's like, Oh gosh, I don't want to tell anybody. Cause then they're going to think, like I said earlier, you're I'm not working.
I'm going to be sick all the time. Like, you don't actually even know how your pregnancy is going to go, by the way. One pregnancy is, and by the way, if you're having your second or third child, one pregnancy is not the same as the next. Like, my first one, I, had a growth tumor in my mouth. I had an allergic reaction to seafood.
Like, I had all these crazy things. Oh God, I could, I could go on and on about my first pregnancy. I gained 60 pounds. Like, I was just, it was a lot, it was a lot, it was a lot. but the point I'm trying to make is, like, in the second time, my daughter, like, none of that happened. But the timing of when you tell your company, so for me, personally, again, remember this is only personal experiences here, I waited until the first trimester was over.
And the only reason for that is, normally, in a pregnancy, the first trimester, and Cindy, correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't it the most times of when potentially a miscarriage could happen?
Cynthia Ficara: Correct. Most common is between eight and ten weeks. And actually, I miscarried before I had my first daughter. I didn't know that!
You never told me that! No. Okay, so, I was, um, I'm so sorry. Oh, I, you know what? It's so, no, but your body, I think people find out so much earlier now than when they're pregnant compared to like so many years ago. So I think it happened a lot more often. I think you hear about it more, but I was like 10 weeks but then two months later I got pregnant with my oldest and everything was great.
So like you just, never know, but yes, in the first 12 weeks it is just, forming. Whether it work, whether it actually sticks is great. So yes, 12 weeks is usually the time for that. Now, however, I just, I want to bring up something that I think in this, of course, with my nursing background, I think is very important in medical device.
Many times you are in the hospital. Okay. So in your 1st trimester, if you haven't told anybody, For all of your reasons, this is your personal you decide when you tell people, but I think you need to be again aware back on this theme of awareness is let's think like, if you're going into an art that has radiation, you may need to wear 2 pieces of lead.
if you walk on, like, an ICU, a message, if you are somebody who goes into a patient's room. CMV virus, the cytomegalovirus, can be more detrimental to a pregnant woman in their first trimester. And what can happen is if you get exposed, which is through like, I don't know, like you're like getting on fluids of some sort.
I mean, most of the time it's a medical device, you stay away. But in that first trimester, if you are pregnant and exposed to CMV, you run the risk of having birth defects. With a child or your child end up having, born with a congenital CMV, which can later lead to some things, but maybe not.
So it's a precautionary thing if nothing else, like just to know if, Hey, I'm going to be up at an ICU. Just be aware. Is there any, any rooms I should stay away from? And you don't have to tell your company you're pregnant yet. But if you go into a hospital and you're up on the floor, you can go to the chargers and say, by the way, I'm in my first trimester of pregnancy.
Is there anything I need to stay away from? Nobody's going to tell anybody you're pregnant.
Anneliese Rhodes: Yeah, that's awesome. Actually, though. Funny, funny. So when I was pregnant with, Brooklyn, now Brady, I actually did tell, I think in 10 weeks, but, Brooke, I actually wanted to wait. And I was an aortic at that point.
definitely, you know, I've been in lead for years and years and years before then, but anyhow. The staff will know, my dear. The staff will know. When you put on two pieces of lead. When you slap on that big old second piece of lead, they look at you like, oh, hello there. And that's exactly what happened.
They were like, oh, hello, are you pregnant? And I was like, please don't say anything. I'm not ready yet. Let me guess. Were they not the most supportive people? Oh my gosh, absolutely. They were like, here, we have pregnancy lead for you. Cause I was just putting on another piece of lead over my other lead. And they're like, no, they're like, we have pregnancy lead.
Just wear that. And I was like, don't tell anybody. you're right, they're so supportive. And I'm so glad you just mentioned that, Cindy, because you're right. What the first trimester is, is all about your health and your baby's health. And that's your number one priority is to make sure you'd never forgive yourself.
If you made a decision based on your fear of something with regards to your company versus the health of your unborn child. So please remember that is so important.
Cynthia Ficara: And it's just fears you're throwing out there that aren't true half the time anyway, and something else I was just thinking about along these lines, depending on what type of sales you're in, if you have a clinical very close to you, if there is a coworker that you trust now again, this is just something to throw out there.
If it works for your situation, if they know early on that they could substitute if you need to, um, just something to think about worth, may not work for you, but it may. Okay. Yep. Um, all right. A couple more. We got it. We got to give them just a little
Anneliese Rhodes: bit of so when you know, you're pregnant regards to whoever else knows, packs of food in your car.
So my go tos were saltines. Like those are the two things that I always had a hat and here's my little tidbit I was trying to be really healthy when I was pregnant with Brady and I'm like, oh every day I'm gonna have my English muffin with peanut butter on it. Yeah. Well that didn't last long So about four months into my pregnancy, which that's second trimester, but either way, I will never forget this I was driving to Valdosta, Georgia for a case and it was like 6 in the morning and I was eating my English muffin English muffin and peanut butter and I had my water because you can't drink coffee, which is really broke.
That's really hard So I remember that long Long time clear as day. I got sick like really sick to my stomach I had to pull over on the side of the road in the dark. I vomited up my breakfast. Okay, and I'm like I just want McDonald's. so I drove to McDonald's. I had not eaten McDonald's yet. Here I am.
Great things. I'm going to be so healthy. I drove into McDonald's. I egg, bacon and cheese biscuit and a Sprite. And girl, that crap was life saving. I felt like I was, I was like, I'm like, I'm eating this every morning. And I didn't, but my point is like, Again, give yourself some grace, quit the guilt and just eat what your body really needs.
I mean, oh my gosh, but you know, your body
Cynthia Ficara: craves what you need. Like if you're craving salt like, it really does. And for me, I was fortunate. I never, ever threw up in either pregnancy. Not once. Oh, wow. Came close. Okay, so I had more food aversions. So the aversion that I had was chicken.
I couldn't look at meat. I'd be like, I want to just cover it up. I couldn't cook it. So one day, driving down the road to work, and I kid you not, it was one of those Chicken trucks. Okay. Coming from afar. Wait, there's feathers flying in my windshield and I'm like, Oh my God, I'm going to throw up right here in the windshield.
So I would say this along the lines of packing snacks, pack a bag because when you least expect it, I never did throw up, but man, I came close and I still laugh when I see it. Chicken shot. See, I remember elephant brain.
Harnessing the Energy of the Second Trimester
Anneliese Rhodes: Oh, God. That just sounds gross. I don't like handling raw chicken, by the way, either.
But, yeah. Alright, moving on. Now we're through the first trimester. We're moving into the second trimester. And this is the fun part, guys. Like, literally, you feel, you feel like you could frickin lift a truck and, like, go do anything. You have superpowers. It's true. You do, you feel like you've got more energy than you've ever had because now the first trimester is over.
Now, now you're starting to really move and groove. You're pumping, by the way, 60 percent more blood through your body at any given second of the day. You just feel good. You exude like this amazingness. So this is the time ladies to really work your butt off. Like get stuff done. I almost said the bad word, get stuff done.
All those goals that we set in our SMART goals for the year. Oh, yes. Yeah, you're getting all that crap done right now. Like, legit, you could, like, go through the night and do all of it. Not really, but you know what I
Cynthia Ficara: mean. What's so great about this, surge of energy that you get is, I love, I just want to point that out again, 60 percent more blood through your body is amazing when you think about that.
It is. And all that oxygen, you feel good. But, when you have this surge, like, It's amazing how things come together and it's all about time efficiency because you feel a little bit of urgency, like, oh, my God, this baby's coming and, but you also feel so much better because, okay, I just told you, I never threw up, but I was like tired or I felt different and weird and I couldn't sit in the backseat of a car.
But. I could absolutely do anything that second. So you, feel, you know, like if you've been sick for two days and then suddenly you feel better, you're like, Oh my God, I feel amazing. Yeah. That's what you have. And you have three months of that, everybody, three months to just feel amazing. So ride with it.
This is the time to really pay attention to your job, to really know, what do I need to wrap up? Who do I need to see get on top of your business? Really, really be efficient with your time. Okay. Work with your senior leadership, your management. By that time, people will know you're pregnant and now it's planning and now it's working together, working with your customers, getting things done ahead of time, what can you do to be ready?
But it is, a really exciting time. And also really celebrate the fact that you're about to have a new addition to your family.
Anneliese Rhodes: Yeah, absolutely. 100%. Yeah. Take advantage of that energy level because in the third it starts to dip again. So the third trimester is really all about prep of your job, of course of your home.
You know, there's this nesting phase you go through. It's just a weird
Cynthia Ficara: word. Really weird. I have a funny story on that
Anneliese Rhodes: one, this is really when ladies, if you haven't done it yet, you need to start planning for who's going to take your place or going to help you out during the time that you are on your maternity leave so that your sales don't dip into like a never, never land.
you keep your doctors and physicians. You set it up success now so that when you're ready to get closer to that delivery time, which again, by the way, Cindy had her daughter early. I had my son almost two weeks late. Like, you never know. Yeah, he's just a
fat
baby. But like, you just never know what's going to happen.
So plan ahead. I mean, we talk a lot about planning and time management. This is your forte, Cindy. Really be on top of this.
Cynthia Ficara: So 3 simple things as you're driving down the road today to think about how do we plan? We're just going to make this simple. The 1st thing I want you to think about in planning in the 3rd trimester is really prioritizing your task and you can delegate them.
I mean, you know, be effective in your day. Look at the time of the day. Um, and then number 2 is setting boundaries. Because you are going to be tired. It's a weird tired. You're going to be a little stressed. You know, set boundaries that you don't work too much over time. Your sleep is going to be all messed up.
Your body is getting prepared. You're going to wake up multiple times at night. Don't forget, we're this baby sitting right on your bladder. So you got to stop what you're doing all the time and keep going to the bathroom. And so, number one, prioritize tasks. Number two, set boundaries. And the third thing is so important to really have open communication with your team.
Your manager, your co workers, really like think about the expectations. Um, but I want to make a little, I want to throw in a fourth there, you know, we, we talked to the first trimester about taking care of yourself and your health. You know, what's really interesting about maternity leave is how your, your body dictates what you do.
Okay, and you know me, Lisa, I am like this very organized, I time block, I do things first here and there. Okay. And when I think about that, like a lot of the work I do in my job is I'm really good in the morning. I can focus good in the morning. I do my most thoughtful tasks first, creative stuff. And then as the day goes on, you know, I wear out when I was pregnant.
It's kind of reverse. Like, I still kind of felt good in the morning, but I felt really bad in the afternoon. So, you know, This is things to pay attention to. Maybe you feel horrible in the morning and you can't eat and you're nauseous, but feel great in the afternoon. You have 24 hours in a day, you still work 5 days in a week, you've got to start to maybe switch some things up, listen to your body, but still you can, women can do this, you can get everything done, but just maybe switch your mornings to your nights, your nights to your mornings, whatever works.
The Fourth Trimester and Embracing Grace
Anneliese Rhodes: Yeah. Oh, I love that. That's so great. All right. Now we're calling this the fourth trimester, but really what it is, is it's maternity leave. And honestly, it probably is the fourth trimester because if you're like me, you're recovering from a C section. That was a tough thing to overcome, at least the first time around.
Second time around seemed a lot easier. But either way, you're recovering from delivering a baby. Doesn't matter how it came out. It still sucks. So, you know, you're recovering from that. This is really the time I didn't do it with my first pregnancy, Cindy, but I did do it with my second or sorry, maternity leave.
But I did do it for a second as I put my phone down and I really disconnected. And do you know what happened? I actually remember Brooklyn, my daughter, and those early, early years way better than I do Brady. Not that I don't remember him, but I remember her more because I didn't. I wasn't constantly worried about my phone and my job.
I set it up, and I was an aortic by that point. I set it up to where I disconnected. And I really paid attention to my kid, my baby, the one that depended on me for life and death, right? Because, let's face it ladies, you're keeping these babies alive. Every second of the day, right? I mean, they are, they are newborns.
They need you night and day. So one of the biggest things is to disconnect. And if you did this properly, if you set yourself up, you've got people covering you anyhow. All your doctors know you're on maternity leave. Everybody in the company knows it. Therefore, you really shouldn't be being called in for anything work related.
Cynthia Ficara: And you know, this is really important because in some states it is illegal. If somebody's on FMLA, you cannot email them, contact them and their job is protected. You know, I mean, this disconnect is real because let's remember you just gave birth. It's the most amazing time in your life. And this little human snuggles on your chest and they feel so warm and it's amazing.
But then there's also the reality that like now. Now everything hits. And so, okay, I remember this. Gabrielle was 11 days old, my first baby. She wasn't feeding that well, blah, blah, blah, and my sister came over and my mom visited and I, for like two days or whatever, but I went to Target. Okay, so there was a Target that opened the day before she was born.
And I went into Target. I will never forget walking in and I was looking at people. I'm like, I bet they slept last night. I bet he slept last night. I bet she slept and I was getting mad. And I'm like, I am never going to sleep again. Like it was like the sleep monster. And you're just like crazy. You have no idea.
Oh my God. I couldn't sleep. Then I reached out about getting help and feeding her. Then she started feeding and I found the day that she slept for hours. Oh my God. In a row. I think I cleaned my whole house. I went nuts and I'm like, wow, this is amazing. Like again, you would just, but that fourth trimester is for you where you're not working, you're good job, you're bonding because you get that bond.
You, you do all the things you need to do. You nourish this baby to be ready. When you go back to work, girl,
Anneliese Rhodes: you are so right. Oh my God. It's bringing back so many movies. By the way, you feel like complete crap after you have your baby. You're fat. You're still bleeding. Like every, if any dudes are looking at me, you're not
even a pair.
You're just a square and you hate everybody. You hate everybody because you're like, she's thin. She's thin. She's not so thin, but she slept like it's so
hard. So by the way, we're talking about a hormone. So, you know, emotional, mental, as well as physical. Yes. Everybody. And everybody deals with it differently.
I mean, for my first pregnancy, I was up cleaning. I didn't sleep at all. My second pregnancy, I actually treated my body a lot better. I slept and I bonded. So I will tell you hindsight's bond and sleep as much as you can when the baby who gives a crap. Lose the damn guilt. Let your husband do the laundry.
Let your mother in law do the laundry. I don't care. Hire a damn lady to do your laundry. Don't do it. Don't cook. People bring you food and eat the food. Who cares if it has calories in it? You really don't care. You're trying to nurse the baby anyhow, if you're nursing. So the point I'm trying to make is this is a really hard time.
And I love that you just said, Cindy, the fourth trimester, the fourth part of maternity leave is for you to get back to normal. And I'm going to move. And you will get back to normal. Okay. But I'm going to move this into number five. And I don't know if this happened to you, Cindy, but I've had multiple conversations with multiple women in the medical device field.
If you are expecting to come back full throttle, all guns a blazing at 12 weeks or even, four months into it, I'm going to tell you that your brain is not going to fire like it normally does for me. It took me a full year for my brain to start clicking again like it was prior. I don't know why. I don't know if it's the hormones.
I don't know. And everybody I'm sure is different. But for me, I put so much pressure on myself. And I'm just going to tell this one story. So this was back when I had Brady.
And I was doing
peripherals, okay, and we were selling a device that would go down and treat the leg arteries and the calf area, for those of you that, you know, whatever.
Anyhow, so, there's three arteries that feed the foot. The anterior tibial, and the peroneal. We took a video, a CTA, angiogram, not a CTA, Lisa, took an angiogram of the leg to see where we were.
That would be, we'd call that baby Jesus, sweetheart, that baby would be named Jesus. So, Transcribed by https: otter.
ai
we'd taken a geogram and I'm like, I'm looking at these three arteries in Cindy. My doc goes, Lisa, which one should we go after? And I legit totally could not remember the name of the three arteries. And I'm like, uh, uh, and it freaking freaked me out. I was like, Oh my God, what happened? And then it finally clicked.
And I was like, Oh, the interior tub. And it was like, Oh, boom, I'm back. But I'm telling you, I had a panic attack.
Cynthia Ficara: Girl, I was like, oh my God, I'm dumb. I came back dumb. So, you know, we talk about pregnancy brain, people say that, like, when you're pregnant, but then afterwards it's all better. Well, you know, we always joke, we're like, all the blood's going to the placenta, it's not going to my brain.
I was on the road, thank God, it was like a 25 mile an hour speed limit, and I came to a traffic light, and it was green, and I stopped, because it's usually red. I'm usually stopping there, I'm like, wait, it's a green light, keep going. And I'm like, wow, what is wrong with my brain? It comes back, everybody.You're going to get through this. It comes back. You end up with this most amazing bundle of joy that will bring you a love that I can't even describe. And even if it's multiple kids, it's just, there's so much room for that love. Your heart grows. just that, compass of, they're the reason we work, right?
They're the reason that bring us together and you can have an amazing career playing this.want to say one more thing about the career part is give yourself a little bit of grace. And expect a little dip. that's okay. I mean, if you're somebody that works in an OR, find the best extension of yourself to cover, communicate, like we mentioned, but like even if you do, distributor type work and.
just give yourself a break. It's going to be okay. I think I wish in hindsight for me, my biggest hindsight is I wish I didn't put so much pressure on myself about the finances of coming back. And. If you have a way to gradually work in that first week, you know, just start a little bit lighter.
Get going. It's going to come back. Just give wheels time to come back and then you'll be amazed. I will tell you being a mother has made me the multi accomplisher that I have been because you think you didn't have time before. And now you just learn how to do new things and find things and fit things in.
So motherhood was, I think, what made me such a great career woman.
Anneliese Rhodes: Oh, so perfectly said, Cindy. I could not say anything more than that. It absolutely is the most amazing blessing that you'll ever receive in your entire life. And Don't ever let it talk you out of doing anything. There are hundreds of thousands of women that have had children and have had a very demanding career and life, and they've all succeeded.
So you, you will too. You'll figure it out. You'll create your own plans to certain things. Not everything will look like you planned it to look. So be ready for those little bumps, but Hey, what's life. If there's not a couple of bumps along the road, right. it's never easy. So. I hope, we hope that this episode really answered or helped guide a number of you, even if you haven't yet started thinking about it or you're pregnant, maybe you're thinking about getting pregnant.
We wanted you to know, first of all, you absolutely can do it. We're super successful and we did it. We have an amazing, we have amazing children and you're not alone. Every single woman that has children go through the same things as you will go through and you need to know that. And when you get stuck and when you get worried, reach out for help
Anneliese Rhodes: whether that's a mentor, whether that's a friend or a parent or whoever it is, reach out to them, let them know what you're struggling with.
You will get through it and you will be better for it. And you can DM us because we're here for you as well. And you can always reach out to us because we'll just, we'll let you know, Hey, listen, we went through this and here's our gel.
Cynthia Ficara: So we are so glad you joined us for our maternity leave episode. And we are hoping you take with you the secret today and promise us that you will enjoy being a parent, enjoy being a career woman when and
Cynthia Ficara: Today we are talking about one of the most life changing events. Being pregnant and taking a maternity leave while trying to navigate a high performing career.
Anneliese Rhodes: We understand the pressure to perform, the guilt that creeps in, and the relentless tug of war between achieving your career goals and welcoming a new baby. You are not alone in this struggle. It's real, it's okay, and it's worth talking about.
